Messages of Pain and Uncertainty
by Dusha
Summary: Though I would consider Sulu and Uhura the main characters, Kirk is very important and, passively, so is Chekov. When the latter is feared dead, his friends and commanding officers have to confront their feelings while trying to find out what really happe
1. Default Chapter

Don't I wish I owned the Star Trek franchise, but alas it is only a dream. Until the day when I can buy Paramount out, I will have to be content with simply playing with their characters and giving them nervous breakdowns. It's fun! (Oy, I have a twisted sense of humor….) This takes place at the time between TMP and TWOK. It's important to know that it's after the second five year mission, and Chekov's moved on to be "Number One" (argh! I can't believe I did that) on the _Reliant_. The events of TWOK haven't happened yet though. That being said and done, enjoy!

**Messages of Pain and Uncertainty**

     Of course, it Admiral Kirk was the first to find out. It only made sense if one thought about it. Being the diplomatic troubleshooter in the Federation, he knew the value of reading the most recent dispatches from ships out on the frontier. Having been Captain Kirk he knew that after particularly troublesome missions he would be needed to iron out some of the ruffles that other captains had made. Luckily for them, the Admiral had been a captain, and they were spared the lectures about duty and rules that Kirk had gotten so many times in his life while in the center seat.

     Riley had forwarded the messages to his terminal as he sat down with a freshly brewed cup of coffee in his office. It was the morning, and since most galactic catastrophes happened in the afternoon, Kirk decided to relax in his plush chair behind his mahogany desk. He had been contemplating a visit to the Academy, to visit old friends, and had finally settled on letting the hierarchy decide it for him. If they didn't give him anything to do by the time 1100 hours came around, he'd catch the transport to the Academy and try to get a bite to eat with old crewmates.

     He skimmed over the reports from the _USS Annapolis_ and _USS Granger _since he couldn't see the relevance to his job in the information about gaseous anomalies on the edge of Federation space. He had always suspected that no one paid any attention to those reports when he had been in the position to send them himself, and now he knew it was true. The _USS McArthur_ had made contact with an industrial civilization, now experimenting with warp drive. He sympathized with Captain Trachiom, with people so close to enter the rest of the universe, it was hard to stand by and let them do it on their own.

     The origin of the next communiqué piqued the Admiral's interest. Starfleet HQ had lost contact with a ship that had been on patrol on the Romulan Neutral Zone. It expressed worry at the lack of communication from the ship, even though it was in a high danger zone. It was not unusual for ships to be out of touch for days after their scheduled rendezvous time, especially when radio silence could mean the difference between life and death. Usually, two or three days after Starfleet started to fret the ship would call in, apologizing for their tardiness. The _USS Reliant_ hadn't been heard from for over eleven days.

     "Damn." Kirk knew in an instant what had happened. Too bad he didn't give the brass up top more credit. They'd been keeping this a secret from him, and it was probably only by a fluke that he had been sent this information. As he read the report his blood froze on the last line.

_The _USS Salk_ has been dispatched to confirm the last known location of the _USS Reliant_ and to determine if the _Reliant_ has been destroyed in the line of duty. Starfleet has received information referring to debris in the region that fits the configuration of the _Reliant_, and unfortunately fears for the worst: that the _Reliant_ was destroyed by a Romulan ship while on patrol. As soon as this is confirmed, condolences will be sent out to the families of the crewmen lost._

 Kirk had vaulted halfway out of his chair when the intercom beeped for his attention. Growling at the device as he tried to shoulder his lightweight Starfleet issue jacket, he smacked his hand on the intercom's face, hoping that he had made contact with the button that would let the call through, but not really caring to the point of trying again.

     "Admiral," Riley's voice filtered out of the speaker clearly due to the proximity of the secretary. He was stationed in the office not any more then ten feet outside of Kirk's office door. "You asked me to remind you that you were going to have a meeting with Admiral Charin this morning at 1000 hours, sir. It's 930 now, and I noticed that you hadn't left."

     "Cancel the meeting. Send the Admiral my apologies and ask when would be a good time to reschedule. I'm leaving." Kirk's decisive tone left no room to argue, but still made Riley ask, 

     "But sir, such late notice. What should I tell her when she asks why you had to change time?"

     "Just make something up, Riley, I don't care what. Say, I caught The Rigelian Fever or something."

     Kirk hurriedly strode towards the doors to his office and they opened in barely enough time for him to not run into them in his haste. Riley, crisp uniform showing off his muscular body and smartly brushed hair framing his confused and worried face, met him outside and followed him to the turbolift.

     "Sir, I'm not authorized to lie to superior officers." His apprehension betraying his normally reserved demeanor around Kirk. Riley knew that the Admiral didn't have a structured way of doing anything, often making up ideas from thin air, but that didn't mean that Riley could have that same knack, or that Reilly could get away with it half as often as Kirk could.

     Kirk's face turned dark, "Then tell them I know about the _Reliant_ and I'm going to tell some other people that I think should know." Then, before Riley could think of anything more to say, Kirk strode through the doors to the turbolift as they closed and he was alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

     While walking through the crowded corridors that made up Starfleet Academy, Kirk was reminded of just how long it had been since he had set foot in this place that had changed his life forever. As students from all over the Federation hurried past him stealing glances at his rank and then skillfully darting their gaze to anywhere but him, Kirk remembered his own time in the lecture halls and classrooms. 

     After fruitless searching in the Communications Department for a certain Commander, Kirk decided to take the most direct route to solving his problem. "Excuse me," touching a passing student lightly on the shoulder, Kirk was able to catch the attention of the young human woman. "Could you tell me where I might find Commander Nyota Uhura?" 

     The student's eyes skated down Kirk's uniform, and her whole body turned rigged at the realization that he was an admiral. "Yes, sir," she stammered, "Commander Uhura always goes out to lunch with a fellow professor from the Flight School on Tuesdays." The student couldn't help but let a nervous smile cross her features. "She's told her students that if they try and come to look for her when she's out to eat then she'll make sure that no matter how good their thesis is, she'll find every flaw possible in it and flunk them. No one knows where she goes with the other professor." 

     Kirk didn't miss the glint of mischief in the young woman's eye, nor the speculative tone of voice. Briefly he smiled inwardly. What would Uhura think if she knew that her students thought that she was dating the 'Flight School Professor' otherwise known as Hikaru Sulu?

     "Are you sure that you have no idea where Commander Uhura might be?" Kirk questioned the cadet, "It's imperative that I find her." The cadet shifted nervously, and Kirk knew that with that subtle movement that she was hiding something. Using words such as 'imperative' in conjunction with his rank made his request sound that much more urgent.

     "They might be at the central plaza, sir." The cadet finally admitted. "I've heard that she sometimes goes there from a couple of my friends." She added the last part hastily, not wanting to be blamed for rumors about her teachers and superior officers.

     "Thank you, cadet." Kirk let the woman return to the stream of students heading towards the mess hall, another class, or the dorms. He pushed against the general flow of traffic, slowly making his way to the central plaza. When he finally made it to the doors of the Communication building, he was able to navigate much more easily in the relatively spacious and well manicured pathways that crossed the Academy campus. 

     He may not have been to the Academy in quite a while, but Jim Kirk still knew his way to the central plaza. Students went there for the relatively civilian atmosphere that was projected from the place. The restaurants that lined the streets had the façade of a classic San Francisco building and at this lunch hour were busy feeding the students and professors that had extra credits to spend. There was food provided, free, in the mess hall, but Kirk could remember how he often went to a little café in the Plaza to get a meal and study. The distinct lack of uniforms among the servers and shopkeepers reminded the students that there was a world outside of 'yes sir' and 'no sir', refreshing after a day of nothing but being reminded of how low on the totem pole of rank you were.

     The brick street of the Plaza felt comfortable under Kirk's step, but the foreboding that was steadily growing in his stomach as he approached each restaurant looking for his former bridge officers. There were no shadows cast by the midday sun, and the sky reflected the gaiety of the conversations that Kirk heard snippets of from all around him.

     "Yeah, I know his letter didn't come when he said it would, but you know Chekov, he's probably too busy trying to be perfect for Captain Terrell that he's forgotten all about his poor friends back here on Earth." A bass voice caught Kirk's attention, and a musical laugh gave away the position of the two people he was searching for. Sitting at a table for two on the patio of one of the plethora of cafés that dotted the Plaza, Sulu and Uhura both nursed drinks while dirty plates told tales of a large lunch meal long finished off.

     "Sulu, how can you be mean to him like that when he's not even here to defend himself? You know, I have a student in one of my class that reminds me so much of him. He gets this miffed look on his face every time I give back a homework assignment that he hasn't gotten a perfect score on. One time he even came up to me and apologized when he got a mediocre grade on an assignment, saying that he would do better on the next one." Kirk was in close enough range to see the sparkle in Uhura's eyes and see Sulu laugh at the thought of their mutual friend.

     "And you say that I make fun on him! Uhura, you should be ashamed of yourself, comparing Chekov to that kid. You know that Chekov would probably offer to be your slave for life if he didn't do something perfectly for you." Sulu smirked as Uhura's cheeks darkened. They both knew it was true.

     Guiltily, Kirk finally decided to make his presence known. "Commanders," Kirk knew that his voice was not nearly as jovial as theirs, but the subject of their conversation had startled him. "Do you mind if I join you?" 

     Instantly recognizing the voice of their former commanding officer, the two professors scooted back their chairs, stood, and faced Kirk at perfect attention stance. Kirk smiled sadly at the memory of another young junior officer who had consistently done that every time he had entered or left the room until Kirk had ordered him to stop doing it because it annoyed him. "At ease. Uhura, Sulu, it's good to see you." 

     "You too sir. If we had known that you were coming down we could have had a lunch date. We would have waited and tried to get everyone else together." Uhura smiled warmly at Kirk while Sulu surreptitiously grabbed a vacant chair from another table and added it to their own. 

     "What a coincidence, huh Uhura? We were just talking about old crewmates and you pop in Admiral." Sulu sat back down, but only after Uhura had regained her seat. _Still a chivalrous romantic after all these years_, Kirk mused fondly, _No wonder Uhura always was so close to Sulu and Chekov, they would both rather die then have anything happen to her._

     "I can't say that I actually planned this jaunt myself, Sulu." Kirk stopped. Actually, he had, but not for these reasons. "I have something that I think you need to know." 

     Uhura was looking at him quizzically, obviously reading something in his stance that she didn't like. Taking his cue from her, Sulu set his elbows on the table and gave his full attention to Kirk. Surprised at the amount of undivided attention he received from the two of them, Kirk felt slightly unnerved. "What is it, Admiral? What's happened?" Uhura asked quietly, trying to put Kirk at ease.

     It didn't work. Kirk almost wished that he could have just written to the two of them what he was going to say. As much as he knew and admitted that he considered the younger members of the bridge crew as children of sorts, he knew that Uhura and Sulu didn't see Chekov as a son, but a brother. He knew that he would have wanted someone like Kirk to tell him that there was a distinct possibility that his brother was dead, it didn't make it any easier to be the person that had to do the telling.

     "It's about the _Reliant_." Kirk saw fear automatically flicker in Sulu's eyes and Uhura sucked in a sharp breath at the name of a ship they both heard so much from. Kirk found that his voice didn't want to elaborate until Sulu goaded,

     "What happened to the _Reliant_, sir? We want to know. We have a right to know if…if…." Sulu's gaze, which had been fixated on Kirk, drifted off to the cerulean blue sky as if he thought he could see through the cosmos to see the ship in question himself. It could have been that, or maybe he was just trying to keep his tears under control.

     "If Pavel is alright." Uhura finished. Kirk swallowed, hard, and decided that staying quiet would only make their pain worse, now that they knew something was wrong. Sulu's gaze turned back to study Kirk as the Admiral continued.

     "They lost contact with the ship over eleven days ago. There were reports of fragments that might have come from a starship seen near their last reported position."

     "Near the Neutral Zone." Uhura whispered sadly. It didn't surprise Kirk one bit that the compassionate Bantu woman kept up on the _Reliant_'s mission.

     "The pieces were badly mangled by what could have been an antimatter explosion." Kirk couldn't go on when tears began to stream down Uhura's face. Sulu face was as stoic as Spock's, a desperate attempt to not let his emotions get the better of him in front of the Admiral, as he put a comforting arm around Uhura's shoulders. 

     "Do you think Chekov is dead sir?" Sulu put more trust in Kirk's hunches then official Starfleet reports, and he hoped that somehow Kirk would tell him that he knew his best friend had survived.

     "I don't know, Hikaru." Suddenly using anything resembling the formality of Starfleet seemed as if it would only take the serrated knife Kirk had plunged into Sulu's heart and twist it. "I don't know what really happened, so I can't tell you."

     "But you don't think he's alive, do you sir?" Uhura brought her head up from crying into her hands, her tears ruining the minute amount of makeup that Uhura had on. With her beauty she didn't need it. Sulu squeezed her shoulder in anticipation of Kirk's response.

     "After a warp core explosion there wouldn't be much left to find," Kirk admitted, "So no, if that's what really happened, I don't think he would have survived."


	2. Chapter 2

     "Oh God," was Sulu's only response, voice breaking at the end. Emotions caught in his throat, he decided to not talk at all lest he betray himself. Uhura on the other hand, had no qualms. As she began to sob, drawing the attention of other patrons of the café, she was only muffled by Sulu's full comforting embrace. As he hugged her, Kirk almost felt like an intruder on a funeral when he realized that deep down, in the place where he always hid his emotions ever since he had been a captain, the same emotions that he saw on Sulu's and Uhura's faces were hiding there.

     Pain, shock, sorrow, anger at the universe, disbelief, it was all there. After realizing that, Kirk felt more like a father, looking at two distraught children. He wished McCoy, Spock, or Scotty was there with him. He knew for a fact that they would feel the same way as he did. While their hearts would be simply torn out of them, Uhura's and Sulu's were also being danced upon by a particularly vengeful Fate. 

     Kirk braced himself to say something along the line of 'he knew what he was getting into when he signed up for the service', something McCoy had said to him about the same young man years ago, when he heard half-coherent speech coming from Uhura.

     "Don't you remember, Sulu?" she questioned, "Don't you remember when we told him, we ordered him, to take care of himself and come back home safe? He said he would, but he lied! God I hate him! You always said that he told you once when you were both drunk that he'd do anything just to make you and me happy. Do you think he ever considered staying alive one of those things that would keep us happy? Do you think he did Hikaru?"

     Pushing Uhura away, Sulu took her face in his hands and locked his dusky eyes with hers. "Uhura, you're upset, I won't begrudge you of that, but you know that Chekov was only doing his job. When we told him that we were all going to teach at the Academy, you saw the expression on his face. He didn't want to be with us teaching Uhura. What was he going to do? Be miserable teaching navigation here or the right way to sacrifice yourself for the rest of your team at the Security Academy in Annapolis? He wouldn't have wanted to be here Nyota, just like the Admiral. He was happier on the _Reliant_ then he could have ever been here. He still felt like he had something to prove to us, or himself, or both, and he would never been able to do that here with us. You know I'm right." 

     Sulu had obviously forgotten, in his anger and sorrow, that Kirk was still sitting no more then a few feet away from him. If he had, Sulu would have never knowingly made the quip about Kirk not belonging on Earth. God only knew he got enough of that from McCoy, he didn't need the best helmsman in the fleet ganging up on him as well. Kirk noticed the discreet movement of people as they fled the tables near the officers. Not that he cared. Kirk felt that maybe is presence would help ease the pain that Uhura and Sulu were going through, having had his fair share of it in his own life.

     "I just don't want him to be gone." Uhura sniffed and Sulu hugged her again, tightly closing his eyes as Uhura expressed everything he couldn't.

     "We still don't know for sure what happened," Kirk tried to give them a ray of hope to grasp on to. "They could have just been damaged." Even to his own ears, it sounded pitiful.

     As Uhura looked up, her tears spent, at Kirk, he felt her sorrow as a tangible thing that came to slap him in the face. Sulu, released from his job as someone to beat up on, abruptly stood. "I have to go. Would you please take care of Uhura, Admiral?" Kirk could see the anger in Sulu's eyes, despite the fact that he turned his head quickly to avoid Kirk's knowing face. Of all the people that shouldn't be alone right now, Kirk wished he could send someone to be with Sulu. 

     Cliques were always formed on starships, and when a nervous, dark-haired, young Russian came on to the Enterprise, Kirk had never expected him to become fast friends with Sulu. They bounced of each other beautifully, Sulu's over exuberance to Chekov's more depressive nature. Sulu's ability to state his opinion to anyone at any time compared to Chekov's reservations about telling any thing about himself. Sulu was probably the only person on the bridge crew that really knew anything about Chekov. Kirk had been surprised during one mission, when Klingons invaded the ship, and a being of unknown origin caused the crew to hallucinate. Looking back on that incident later, Kirk remembered Sulu first realizing something was wrong when Chekov declared he had a brother, Piotr, and Sulu knew for a fact that Chekov was an only child. When writing the report on the incident, Kirk had halted in that part of his memory, perplexed when he tried to think about what he really did know about his navigator. Precious little, that was what.

     He still knew little more about the young man's past, but took a distinct predilection to figure out what he could about the reserved Russian's attitude and feelings towards life. No matter what he did learn, Sulu was the only person that Chekov used as a confidant, something that Kirk knew the helmsman felt flattered for.

     "Hikaru, you're sure?" Kirk wanted to give the Asian a chance to use someone as a sounding board. 

     "I'm sure, just take care of Uhura, please?" Sulu didn't turn around as he asked the question. Kirk took Uhura's hand, as she sat in silent pain, now not only for her loss, but for Sulu, and said,

     "I will. If you need anything-" Kirk was cut off when Sulu started walking, purposefully, away from the other two at the table.

     Having been stymied off by the outbursts from the table, a waiter cautiously came into the range of Kirk's gaze. Fishing a gold card out of his pocket, Kirk gave it to the young man indicating that the tab be put on his account. Quickly running through a scanner-type device, the server handed the card back to Kirk without a word. Sliding it back into his pocket, Kirk stood up, and Uhura did the same mindlessly following the upward movement of her hand still entangled in Kirk's. 

     "Come on, Uhura. Let's go." 

     "I-I want to see if I can help find out what really happened. Please, Admiral?" Uhura's voice was soft like a child's, and Kirk knew he would let her do anything if she thought it would help her. 

     "Of course. We can go back to my office and see what we can do." Uhura nodded, automatically answering with a,

     "Yes, sir." As Kirk led her to the transport that would take them to his office, he couldn't help but think that he should be doing more, especially for a certain ex-helmsman.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

     Sulu was able to stay strong long enough to make it to the threshold of his apartment. Being a sucker for the old-fashioned, it had taken him forever to find a building that was authentic enough for his tastes. Placing his shaking hand on the scanner to unlock his manual door, he waited for the machine to recognize him and unlock the door. With the slightest of clicks the complicated series of tumblers and more updated locking components slid apart and he grasped the handle tightly, turned it, and let himself into the room. 

     Taking care to close the door completely behind him, Sulu finally released his bottled up emotions, sliding down to the floor against the door. Slamming a closed fist on the carpeted floor, Sulu gasped for air as the sobbing that had claimed Uhura grabbed him. Sobbing for a time, like a lost soul unable to find it's way to the relative comfort of the underworld, Sulu sat like a crumpled doll on the floor. His normally boundless energy only served him by extending the time he simply sat, crying.

     _God, why did it have to be him?_ Sulu implored of the universe. _After everything he's been through his whole life, he was the one person on this planet that deserved to have a little happiness come his way. There was supposed to be a balance in this universe, ying and yang, which exist in co-harmony. When you have a horrible day, you could think 'Hey, that's my ying! I can look foreword to the great day I'll have my healthy dose of yang'. Pavel had so many years of being scared, of worrying about things that no one should have had to worry about at his age, that it was time for the universe to finally throw something good his way. There were so many things that he never got to do, simply because he was too busy trying to be something that he wasn't, that by the time he actually realized that it was OK to be himself, something like this has to happen. When he finally realized that he didn't just have to try to survive, but live with me and Uhura and so many other people that love him, but no, he had to go and get himself killed. _

     Doing what he does best. Probably throwing himself in the way of a phaser beam to save someone that he doesn't even know. Just as long as that person treated him halfway decently. They didn't have to treat him with the respect he deserved, no, all they had to do was not beat the crap out of him and he'd be happy.

     Sulu didn't rise from his position for hours; reliving the times Chekov had tentatively him about how he didn't know what to do around Sulu and Uhura, thinking that there was some sort of protocol that he had missed learning at the Academy about having friends. Sulu had learned that Chekov hadn't grown up in the white-picket-fence way that most of the rest of the crew had. He remembered when Uhura had asked the lonely young Russian to go on shore leave with her and Sulu after he had been on the ship for over 6 months and he had almost had a heart attack. 

     No one knew the things that Sulu did, and he had promised Pavel one dark night in the comfort of Sulu's quarters after a long talk about life, love, and a thousand other things that you only are willing to talk about with someone that you trust implicitly that he would never tell what secrets Chekov had entrusted him with. Sulu had secrets locked away from many people, but there were secrets, and there were secrets the size of planets. He had vowed that he would never shatter the bond of trust they shared, even after death. That's why, now, he sat on the floor, mourning, all alone.

     _Now, _he reflected bitterly, _I have an inkling of what Pavel felt._


	3. Chapter 3

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

     If Riley was taken aback at Kirk's return with Uhura in tow, he was prudent enough to keep his mouth shut as the Admiral steered her into his office. Sitting her down in his own chair, Kirk dragged a chair from the outer office where Riley stood post for himself.

     "Sir, I took the liberty of calling up everything about the _Reliant_ I could while you were gone. I'm sorry, sir." At first Kirk was startled by Riley's insight, but he quickly smiled sadly and dropped a fatherly hand on his secretary's shoulder before continuing to drag in the chair.

     "Thank's Riley, I appreciate it."

     "It's the least I could do sir. I know what it's like to loose a friend in the service." Riley's eyes fleetingly clouded with prolonged pain, but they cleared. Time had worked it's magic on his pain, and Kirk could only hope it would do the same for him.

     By the time he had positioned the chair in a position to see his terminal's screen, Uhura had already logged in to the Starfleet net and pulled up several classified reports on the _Reliant_. Her face set with determination, Kirk decided to err on the better side of self-preservation and not inquire how she had gained access to such files.

     "Starfleet isn't releasing anything official about the disappearance, sir, and the files that I've been able to get into haven't given me any real information. The only one worth mentioning is from a couple of days ago when they first sent out the _Salk_ to look for the _Reliant. _They said that, in order to keep out any possibility of a news leak they were going to keep everything classified. It also says that you, sir, are not to be told because you might cause an 'incident' that could reflect negatively on Starfleet."

     Kirk's face darkened, in both anger and embarrassment as Uhura continued her report. "That was five days ago, and it would have taken approximately a half a day to get the _Reliant_ and at least five to get back to Earth. What really bothers me though, is the fact that Starfleet must know what the condition of the _Reliant_ is, but they won't tell us." Kirk had very rarely seen honest anger on the kindhearted communications officer's face, but now a look of loathing was reflected towards the powers that be who were impeding her progress.

     "Remember Uhura, we aren't supposed to know what's happened. Also, the _Salk_ may have been detained in some way, maybe in picking up survivors, so it's logical that they might not have even reported to Starfleet yet." Thinking of Spock as soon as the word logical came out of his mouth, Kirk turned to Uhura. 

     "We can do something else now though. Spock might be able to gather more information then we can through his father. We should tell Bones and Scotty what's happened too." 

     "Of course Captain, I-" Uhura hesitated, but Kirk smiled.

     "I know, you just want to know what to believe. Whether you should keep your hope up or not. Trust me Uhura, you should. Don't you think Chekov would want you to?"

     "Yes, you're right." A shy smile peeked its way from behind the clouds of gloom that had shadowed Uhura's normal radiance. "I can just imagine what he would be doing if he saw me being this stupid. Can you imagine it, Admiral?" 

     Kirk's grin widened. "I see something along the lines of declaring that something like warp drive was invented in Russia, just to tip off Scotty, and then claim that Sulu had told him that to get Sulu started and then watch the two of them duke it out not realizing that everyone else on the bridge was laughing at them." 

     "I always suspected he did those kinds of things for comic relief." Uhura sobered suddenly, "But not anymore."

     "Maybe, or maybe he'll come to annoy us yet." 

     "Did he really annoy you Admiral?" Uhura's question was innocent, but Kirk could hear a subtext under it. What would Chekov had thought if he knew that the one person that he looked up to almost more than God thought he was annoying?

     "Of course not Uhura. If anything I was glad that we had someone as young as him to make sure that we older officers didn't take ourselves to seriously." Kirk smirked happy to see a smile on Uhura's face. "See Uhura, it won't be so bad if you concentrate on the good things. Should we call Scotty and the others now?" 

     Kirk's hand snaked to the console to place the call, but Uhura intercepted him before he could. "No, let's wait until we know for sure. No need to make them worry unnecessarily."

     Wincing, Kirk knew that he should have taken that into consideration when he went to contact Sulu and Uhura. He was so flabbergasted, though, that Starfleet would be so audacious as to keep something like that away from him that he had to tell someone. They had seemed the right people; the ones who would want to know the most. Only now did Kirk realize that they were really the last people he should have told until he got all of the facts. "You're right, but there's no saying that we can't be the first to know when the verdict does come through. Let's get on the horn," Kirk used the old term that still referred to the instant communications, "and threaten every high-ranking Admiral we can find that I'll cause one hell of and 'incident' if I'm not the first to know when the _Salk_ comes in."

     Uhura's look of determination cemented the plan of action, "Yes, sir." 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

     It took three more days, despite very persuasive haranguing, for Kirk to get an answer to his demands. He had sent Uhura to check on Sulu earlier that day and consequently was alone when a harried looking Admiral Huang called his office. Though Kirk had canceled Uhura and Sulu's classes the day he had told them about the _Reliant_, he knew that he couldn't keep it the students from their teachers indefinitely. Over the course of the week the two friends had returned to their jobs, but Uhura had decided to keep a hawk-eye vigil on Sulu to make sure he was all right.

     He wasn't. It was that simple. His lectures lacked the natural finesse of energy that he had always brought to them before. After class he wouldn't hesitate for even a second before leaving for the cold confines of his apartment. He didn't return any of Kirk's or Uhura's calls for days, and eventually the two of them decided the more direct approach was need. Kirk wanted to go and figure things out with Sulu himself, he wanted to be the one that brought the relatively young Asian out of his funk, but he accepted that Uhura have more of a chance than he. 

     The whole time Uhura had been gone that day at Sulu's apartment Kirk twisted his hands and paced his office, glancing every few seconds at either his door or comm., hoping that Uhura would update him by either mean. After what seemed like days, Uhura wearily came through the door held open politely by Riley. When Kirk couldn't contain his inquisitive side and asked what happened, Uhura just shook her head.

     "Sulu is one of the most stubborn people that I know. If it's possible, I think he's even more headstrong than Chekov is." She refused to use the past tense for her friend yet. "It' hard to see Hikaru so low, Admiral, but sometimes I forget that despite all, Sulu can get just as depressed as the rest of us."

     "But you got through to him?" Kirk queried apprehensively.

     "After a load of yelling and throwing of things and finally slapping him, yes, I think I did." Kirk blinked, the mental image of Uhura getting violent making for a strange mental picture. "He finally started to talk to me sir, and I learned things that I don't know if I ever really wanted to know. But Sulu needed to tell someone, and I'm just glad that he knows that he can tell someone now."

     Kirk sighed in relief. "I have a hard time envisioning Sulu not knowing that he could come to you or me at any time."

     "You'd be surprised what Sulu hides behind that cocky smile of his, sir." 

     "Uhura, at a time like this, I'd be honored if you'd call me Jim." Uhura blinked in incomprehension but when the weight of Kirk's request, she laughed. Of all of the possible responses, this was not the one that Kirk expected.

     "Oh, Admiral," she giggle, "That would be like calling the President of the Federation 'Bob'. You'll always be Admiral or Captain Kirk to me."

     That was a double edge sword if Kirk ever heard one, but he smiled anyway. "Alright, Uhura, if that's the way it's going to be."

     Uhura laughed again and could help some good-natured ribbing, "I'm not Dr. McCoy sir."

     That was two days ago and every day since Uhura had gone back to Sulu's home, talking and bringing him slowly back. Just the day before Uhura had practically bounded into Kirk's office.

     "Oh, Admiral, you should have seen it! Sulu asked if we knew anything about the _Reliant_ and her crew yet!" Kirk felt Uhura's high spirits transfer to him with the knowledge that Sulu hadn't totally given up on Chekov and the crew of the lost ship.

     Now she was gone again, and with sweating hands Kirk activated his screen. "Yes, Admiral."

     The petit Korean woman glared at Kirk, but one of the reasons Kirk had first contacted her to help him was because he knew that she would sympathize with his predicament. "Admiral Kirk, I have some highly classified information that I can only impart to you at a specific time, mainly two hours from now. Make sure that anyone you think needs to know this information will be in your office at that time."

     Not quite understanding the need for subterfuge, Kirk addressed his fellow Admiral. "I don't understand why you can't tell me now-"

     "Just do it Jim." Her eyes twinkled briefly as Kirk could see her reaching forward to cut the connection. "I'll talk to you then." Then abruptly, she vanished from the screen, her place taken by the elite Starfleet logo.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

     Watching Sulu being nervous was making Kirk nervous. Seeing Kirk nervous was making Uhura nervous. It was getting to the point of absurdity. Immediately after he got over the shock of Haung's cryptic message, Kirk had contacted Sulu's apartment. Surprised to see Sulu actually answer his call, Kirk relayed the orders he had gotten and the Uhura promised from over Sulu's right shoulder to get there as soon as possible.

     When they showed up, Kirk had initially been surprised by the pale complexion of the Asian man. He was about to comment on it when he remembered he had looked the same way only days after his brother Sam's death. Having Riley bring in a coffee for all of them, they say down to wait. Time moved agonizingly slow as the two hours passed, and eventually Kirk updated himself on scientific reports, just so he would have something to do. When the terminal screen changed from a cheery blue to the black background and Starfleet insignia with a flashing MESSAGE WAITING in red, Kirk pounced on the workstation, but Sulu beat him too it. All of that fencing paid off when it came to quick reflexes.

     "Well, Jim, how are you?" Aishana Haung cordially greeted Kirk, taking in the view of Uhura and Sulu crowded in the screen.

     "You're twelve minutes late." Kirk's greeting was considerably less friendly.

     Haung feigned surprise. "Really? Considering your track record, Jim, I never expected you to be a stickler for something like this. Sorry." Kirk was about to get angry with her, when he realized something. Haung knew what was wrong, and she wouldn't be joking around if she were about to deliver the equivalent of a deathblow to him and his companions. He was about to gather his witty banter in rebuttal when he caught a view of Sulu's taught face. They needed to know, he recognized, and cut to the chase.

     "What do you know, Aishana?" the Admiral's smirk grew until it blossomed into a full-fledged smile.

     "I'll have you know that I had to go through hell to get this for you, Jim. You owe me. Doctor's can be a real pain, even to Admirals." Reaching off screen she pulled at something to bring it into view. "I expect to be repaid in full by all of you."

     Left arm in a sling and the telltale signs of someone having recently been beaten soundly still evident on his face, Pavel Chekov stumbled into the camera's view.

     This time when Uhura gasped it was one of happiness. Her hand reached out to caress the screen, and Chekov smiled shyly. "Hi Uhura, Sulu."

     "Oh God, Pavel, I swear, I, dammit, what am I," Uhura was having a hard time forming coherent sentences, so Sulu jumped into the breach.

     "Pavel, I don't know whether to kill you or never let you out of my sight ever again." A complete transformation from the guilt and sorrow riddled man Kirk had seen only minutes before, Sulu's smile rivaled the Cheshire cat's.

     "How about neither." Chekov glimpsed furtively behind him, as if expecting Sulu to come up from behind him and come through with one or the other of his threats.

     Sulu's expression softened, looking almost vulnerable, "I'm just glad you're OK buddy. I was going crazy because I thought you were dead. Uhura too." He added the last part while looking up at Uhura as she placed her hand on his shoulder.

     Chekov was instantly contrite, and when he looked harder, Sulu could see still fine lines of pain etched in the Russian's face. "I'm sorry I made you worry," his apology was sincere, "I should have called or something."

     The suggestion moved Uhura to laugh, and Kirk simply shook his head at the good ole Chekovian behavior. Sulu smiled reassuringly, "Don't stress yourself over it. We're just glad you made it back in one piece."

     "Where are you?" this came from Uhura, who wanted nothing more then to go and see Chekov herself, hug him till she was sure that he really was alive. 

     "Actually, by the time you get up here, this young man will probably be in San Francisco's main medical complex. The _Reliant_ had to be towed to Utopia Planetia, and is due for some pretty extensive repairs. He should arrive within the day." Huang answered. She glanced at the man beside her and, upon noticing the same lines of strain that Sulu had, began to shoo him away. "Back to bed with you young man. If any of the doctors find out I let you out I'm going to be in the bed right next to you."

     It was obvious that Chekov didn't want to leave, and that Sulu and Uhura didn't want him to, but Sulu actually backed up the fiery Admiral. "Go on Pavel. We'll be waiting for you when you get back to Earth. You've worried us enough and I don't want you getting beaten up by any doctors. You know how violent Dr. McCoy could get."

     "Get well soon!" Uhura ordered as he disappeared from their range of vision. Still caught in the euphoria of finding their friend alive, Kirk found room to ask his own questions.

     "How is he?" Kirk too hadn't missed the rather stiff way the Commander had held himself, as if moving might cause more pain to show through that he didn't want. Huang turned to look to her right, presumably at the retreating figure about whom Kirk was referring.

     "Actually, he's one of the worst cases. He had a severe concussion when the Salk arrived and had been banged up from the wild ride. Any first-degree burns he sustained are long gone. He broke one rib and his arm and a few internal injuries that I'm not that clear on and are probably the ones that are giving him grief now, but other than that, he's none worse the wear for his trip."

     Uhura had winced in the middle of the Admiral's itinerary of Chekov's wounds, but found comfort in the fact that his had been the worst. That was so like him, she decided, and she liked it that way.

     "What about the warp core explosion detected?" Kirk's eyebrows lifted in question. Surprisingly, the other Admiral rolled her eyes.

     "You mean the one that your friend there had on a damaged shuttle because of a firefight between two Romulan warbirds and the _Reliant_? The one that he set to self-destruct and then beamed out the second that the _Reliant_ lowered its screens? Captain Terrell was willing to sustain moderate damage for that one second because they lit out of there faster than it takes you to find trouble and the resulting explosion disabled the two Romulan ships. Rocked the _Reliant_ around quite a bit too, but since your man had been on the shuttle and the ship when the shock wave went out, he was hit two-fold."

     Kirk closed his eyes, imagining the maneuver. When he opened his eyes, he addressed the Admiral one last time. "Thank you Aishana." 

     "Thank your friend when you see him, Jim. The _Reliant_ wouldn't have been able to stand against the Romulans for much longer if he hadn't played that little trick. He learned too well from you Jim. Now, I'm going to light out of here before I get caught, and I'll see you the next time I need something."

     The screen blacked out once again, and when it did, Uhura leaned forward to hug Sulu from behind. "Didn't I tell you that he would be alright?" she chastised him.

     "Yeah," Sulu agreed, a mischievous quirk twisting his smile. "But I was right to. He almost got his butt fried going into a battle zone in a damaged shuttle to save his ship, so we're even."

     Turning as one, they faced Kirk. "Thank you sir." Uhura straitened to salute him.

     "For everything." Sulu added as he scrambled up from the chair he had been in to copy Uhura's salutation beside her.

     "Just tell Chekov he did a good job when you see him and go get some sleep, you both look like you could use some. You know that Chekov will feel bad if he finds out you have been worrying yourselves literally sick."

     "Yes sir!" Like cadets, or a certain green Ensign from many years ago, they turned on their heels and strode to the door. Kirk wondered if the parallel was planned or not. Not that it mattered. Watching the two friends march down the hall, Kirk knew that there would only be more trouble coming from the three of them. Settling in his cushioned chair, Kirk suddenly had the urge to contact Spock and McCoy. Maybe they would want to get together sometime.

Feel free to use your Constitutional right of reviewing and tell me what you think. I really, really, want to know. Please? I know you will, so thanks in advance!


End file.
